Do you have a demanding judge within you?

Watch out, your inner judge is most severe with yourself.

When we interact with the world we are constantly analysing our surroundings, situations, and people. Part of this reconnaissance includes forming opinions or judgements about absolutely everything we encounter. It is as if we spent our lives labelling things as good or bad; correct or incorrect; beautiful or ugly. It is such a normal thing to do that in most cases we don’t even notice that we are doing it.

This is natural behaviour and it helps us navigate the world we live in, making decisions and guiding our actions as if it was a compass. For this purpose, opinions are useful. However, watch out as they can have undesirable consequences too.

Firstly, our opinions or judgements never represent an absolute truth, that by they way doesn´t exist. They are dependent on our life trajectory and the information we have at our disposal, which is never complete.

Secondly, if we are too rigid in our judgements we close the close the door to many things that can be positive in our lives. Learning to see new points of view can help us grow.

Thirdly, that internal judge that passes sentence about others is not only hard on them. He is harshest about ourselves. Living under the tyranny of a demanding internal judge can cause us a lot of pain. This pain manifests itself in the form of insecurities, rigidity, stress and much more.

So next time you are observing something or someone and you make a judgement ask yourself:

  • What do I gain from passing this judgement?
  • Would others agree with me?
  • How does this judgement apply to myself?

The first step is to realise that we are doing it and the second is to give less importance to what that internal judge has to say. That way he will lose power over our actions. Liberation from that tyrant can be wonderful for ourselves, and the people around us. Have a go!


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